is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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