You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
