It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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