gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
