she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
