ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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