Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
