so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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