I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
And then he peed in my hair
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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