Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
