now i know why i became what i already was.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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