Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
