So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
