So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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