Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
