just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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