just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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