I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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