dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
