It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
