you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
