what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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