maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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