No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
