who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
