She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
