He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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