he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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