Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
