My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
