honey bunches of taint.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
