bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
