Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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