There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
