i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
