then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we're so committed to being not committed
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
