so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize