Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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