I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
