I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
