Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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