so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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