Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
