He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
