I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
