at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
