I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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