I hope mine doesn't look like that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
