You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
