i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
