id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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