Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
