What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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