VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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