Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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