dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
