Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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